Your Marriage and Your Home: Choosing Peace

I don’t know about you, but things don’t run perfectly at my house.  Things break (this week it was the garage door), my 4-year-old pushes my limits, my husband has his grouchy moments, I have my pregnant hormonal moments, and our dog is rotten half the time (she’s asleep the other half).  Yet, with all of this, we manage to maintain a pretty peaceful household the majority of the time.  I’m convinced it is mainly because of prayer and some wonderful advice I read from an elderly couple who had been married over 50 years…mostly happily.  The wife shared that the best advice she could offer other couples would be,

“Don’t have a bad day on the same day as your spouse.”

Do you know how many marriages, friendships, parent-child relationships would be radically changed if we just followed her advice?  We all have bad days, where we lose our temper, give up on our dreams, or we just aren’t at our best.  We have bad days because no one is perfect. It’s easy to see that our family members aren’t perfect but harder to see our own faults.

“We judge others by their actions but judge ourselves by our intentions.” -Ian Percy

That’s what makes her advice so hard.  We have to choose in those moments:

  • when your child is on your very last nerve
  • or your husband says the absolute wrong thing
  • or your dog eats your most favorite pair of red, peep-toed, sling-back shoes  (it’s been 3 years and I still grieve them)…

…in those moments we must choose to offer grace, to remember our own shortcomings, to believe the best about the other person and to, like she said, not have a bad day on the same day as another family member.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to open the front door and let my dog run free the day she ate my shoes, or that I didn’t want to come back with a real zinger when my husband says something wrong, or completely lose it when, again, my child spills her drink after I had just said several times in the last minute to stop wiggling at the table.

But THANK GOD, just because we FEEL like saying or doing something, there is a Supernatural Filter available to us!  Not everything that crosses our mind has to come out of our mouth.

“The mind controlled by the sinful nature is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.”  Romans 8:6

There it is.  Your daily choice: death or peace?  I choose peace.

Happy Marriage Challenge:

  1. Ask God to show you what it’s like to live with you.  This may hurt but it will give you plenty to think about to prevent you from screaming at your family in those moments.
  2. Spend time recognizing your family members for their good qualities.  Write down positive things about each person.  Post it in your office or laundry room where you will see it often.
  3. Pray before responding in those tense moments.  Even if it is, “God help me!”  Better to say nothing than respond in anger when your loved one is already not at their best.  Remember, it’s not your day to lose it.  Choose peace.

 

 

Leigh Ann Napier

I’m iBloom’s Content Creator who loves making our clients’ products & services irresistible to the people who need them. My job is to play with words and help clients tell their story in a way that impacts people, cures an ache, and explains clearly what they do. My favorite part of what I do is helping connect products with people! This allows our clients to make the income they need getting them that much closer to making their personal & professional dreams a reality.
About Leigh Ann Napier

I’m iBloom’s Content Creator who loves making our clients’ products & services irresistible to the people who need them. My job is to play with words and help clients tell their story in a way that impacts people, cures an ache, and explains clearly what they do. My favorite part of what I do is helping connect products with people! This allows our clients to make the income they need getting them that much closer to making their personal & professional dreams a reality.

Comments

  1. This was a terrific reminder. I often am quiet around my spouse when I see him in a bad mood whether caused by me or not. I try to let him have his moment and realize where I’m wrong but I haven’t extended that to my kids as often as I probably should. Thanks for reminding me that it’s true that they have not so great days too.

    • Thanks Heidi! Everyone should get a break now and then…plenty of time for correction when they’re generally doing well but are just off course. Appreciate your words!

  2. I choose peace!! Your blogs are amazing:-) I get something out of them that I can apply to my daily life!

  3. I choose peace! WOW – so good! I err greatly when I don’t allow my son to have a bad day but I feel I am perfectly justified to have one. Such conviction. Thank you!

  4. Cindy Crane says:

    Wonderful message! I have been married 39 years this week. It wasn’t always good times and 25 years ago we almost divorced. We turned to God and ask Him to take the broken pieces that turned to hate and make something beautiful with them. I don’t know exactly the timing, but God touched our hearts and placed a love within us that has lasted 39 years. This is not to say that it has been perfect, but we have been given godly tools to work on every area that caused friction before. I can be just a little defensive, well maybe alot defensive at times. I had to learn that my husband was not responsible to meet my every need in life. Only God could do that when I put my trust in Him alone. Boy was my husband glad about that. It sure let him off the hook. God uses my sweet husband to meet some of my needs with His leading. God has taught us to recognize when the other one is having an off day and to allow them the space thay need. The one thing that has helped us greatly was the advice an edlerly lady gave us. We were told never ever to go to sleep without making things right with each other. We have applied this to our marriage for many years and it has made a difference. It became a choice we both made and now our grown children practice the same advice in their marriages and with their children. God’s grace is always enough if we believe it. Thanks for your encouraging words. We never get to old to be reminded.

Share Your Heart

*