Where’s Your Focus In Your Marriage?


“Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.

Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

~Philippians 4:8 (New Living Translation)

You may have heard it said that what you focus on gets BIGGER.

So my question for you is:

Where’s your focus in your marriage?

Are you focusing on all that is wrong with your spouse/ marriage?  Are you focusing on the personality traits or habits that are annoying to you?    Are you focusing on the things your spouse isn’t doing for you?  Are you focusing on all the wrong stuff?

If so, then those things will keep “growing” and irritating you more and more.

No one is perfect.  Not you and certainly not your spouse.  You can choose “where” your focus is on your spouse.  You can train yourself to think about all of the good parts of this person God has provided for you to do life with.  Not a perfect person of course, but yours nonetheless.  You can choose to think about all of the ways your spouse is a blessing to you everyday.  But it will take some training.

Here are some practical ways to adjust your marriage focus:

  1. Pray each day giving thanks for your marriage, your spouse, and all of the blessings in your life.
  2. Start a list of all of the positive things about your spouse and then add to it as you think of things.  Reflect on this list daily.
  3. When your mind starts to focus on something negative about your spouse, ask God to show you something you can appreciate instead.
  4. Talk him up!  Whenever possible tell your spouse, your friends, yourself, and especially your children GOOD things about your spouse.

Remember, the only person you can change is yourself.  Trying to change your spouse, aside from praying for God’s help, is futile.  So instead,  choose to  focus on how you can be a better spouse, think about what is good about your spouse, and allow God to retrain where your focus is in your marriage.

Blessings,

Leigh Ann Napier

The Happy Marriage Planner

Leigh Ann Napier

I’m iBloom’s Content Creator who loves making our clients’ products & services irresistible to the people who need them. My job is to play with words and help clients tell their story in a way that impacts people, cures an ache, and explains clearly what they do. My favorite part of what I do is helping connect products with people! This allows our clients to make the income they need getting them that much closer to making their personal & professional dreams a reality.
About Leigh Ann Napier

I’m iBloom’s Content Creator who loves making our clients’ products & services irresistible to the people who need them. My job is to play with words and help clients tell their story in a way that impacts people, cures an ache, and explains clearly what they do. My favorite part of what I do is helping connect products with people! This allows our clients to make the income they need getting them that much closer to making their personal & professional dreams a reality.

Comments

  1. Focus is SO important! Thanks for this LAN!

  2. I love this post, Leigh Ann! My favorite tip is #4- sometimes we just assume someone knows how proud we are of them and how much we appreciate what they do or say! Let others hear- especially your children!

    • You’re right Lori! That point is true for friends, siblings, parents, and on and on. We need to tell others how much we love and appreciate all those little and big things they do for us.

  3. THANK YOU for writing this! I love all of the tips, but especially #2 & #3! Our spouses aren’t perfect (even though mine is pretty FABULOUS) and neither are we! It’s AMAZING how our perspective shifts when we focus on the positive things, rather than those things that are less than perfect.

    • Thanks Kelly! We can start focusing in on the negative things without even realizing we are doing it. It takes being intentional with our thoughts and prayer to keep us looking for what is good and then trusting God with the rest.

      • This could not have came at a better time for me. I have been struggling with negative thoughts and words. Im the one that holds everything in, and then I just get angry and explode.

  4. Joelle Brinkley says:

    Thanks Leigh Ann! What wonderful tips, especially for my husband and I’s new marriage journey. His top three qualities: he’ll always be the first one to say “let’s pray about it,” he’ll always turn his head as I plow my way through another bag of marshmallows, and he’s a great spouse and father. It’s wonderful to spread the word about how great he is!

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