“Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.
Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
~Philippians 4:8 (New Living Translation)
You may have heard it said that what you focus on gets BIGGER.
So my question for you is:
Where’s your focus in your marriage?
Are you focusing on all that is wrong with your spouse/ marriage? Are you focusing on the personality traits or habits that are annoying to you? Are you focusing on the things your spouse isn’t doing for you? Are you focusing on all the wrong stuff?
If so, then those things will keep “growing” and irritating you more and more.
No one is perfect. Not you and certainly not your spouse. You can choose “where” your focus is on your spouse. You can train yourself to think about all of the good parts of this person God has provided for you to do life with. Not a perfect person of course, but yours nonetheless. You can choose to think about all of the ways your spouse is a blessing to you everyday. But it will take some training.
Here are some practical ways to adjust your marriage focus:
- Pray each day giving thanks for your marriage, your spouse, and all of the blessings in your life.
- Start a list of all of the positive things about your spouse and then add to it as you think of things. Reflect on this list daily.
- When your mind starts to focus on something negative about your spouse, ask God to show you something you can appreciate instead.
- Talk him up! Whenever possible tell your spouse, your friends, yourself, and especially your children GOOD things about your spouse.
Remember, the only person you can change is yourself. Trying to change your spouse, aside from praying for God’s help, is futile. So instead, choose to focus on how you can be a better spouse, think about what is good about your spouse, and allow God to retrain where your focus is in your marriage.
Leigh Ann Napier
The Happy Marriage Planner