My husband and I will celebrate 9 years of marriage this week. I’m excited as I think ahead to all we want to do in our future and I’m feeling a little accomplished and very blessed as I look back over the last nine years as a married couple. We’ve had our share of arguments, disappointments, and hard days for sure but I am so thankful that the good days, the amazing days, and the dreams-come-true days, have far outweighed the bad.
Together we have bought houses, sold houses, cried over bills to repair said houses. Same is true with cars. We’ve shared the burden of chores and the joy of having a place to call home. We’ve started new jobs, said goodbye to old jobs, and helped each other train & prepare for new challenges. We adopted our dog, making us joint pet parents. We’ve gone through long periods of waiting & praying to get pregnant with our two girls, now ages 6 ½ and 19 months. We mourned together over the loss & ache that resulted from a miscarriage in between the two. Every day has held decisions: big ones, little ones, and crazy unexpected ones. We’ve made good decisions over the years and a fair number of poor decisions too of course. But thank God we’ve made each of those decisions together. Making decisions together as a married couple allows you to either celebrate the outcome or work like crazy to “fix it” after the not so good decisions…but either way you are in it together!
Some verses that I have found helpful in creating & maintaining unity in decision making are:
- “Be patient toward all men.” -1 Thessalonians 5:13 Be patient with each other. Listen to each other and attempt to see things from the other’s perspective before making your decision.
- “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18 Are you refusing to budge on an issue because your pride is hurt? Scripture is clear about having a spirit of pride.
- “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 No one is perfect. Allow each other some room to have a bad day sometimes. Be the safe place to land for each other on those difficult days.
Being married isn’t easy. It is willingly choosing to take two different people and work as ONE for the rest of your lives. That can be quite the challenge. I’m convinced that without God being our leader and example for our marriage, we wouldn’t have made it. You’ll want to study these verses and others relating to relationships and pray over them (and your marriage) BEFOREyou’re faced with tough decisions. You may even want to write these verses in your planner, post them in your laundry room, or write them in dry-erase marker on your bathroom mirror. The more we think about God’s directions in making decisions as a married couple the less we are tempted to just seek our own selfish way each time.
This week we celebrate that we’ve survived each other for 9 years and not only still like each other but are still very much in love. We celebrate that God gave us wisdom, mercy, grace, and forgiveness on a daily basis. We are thankful that we’ve been smart enough to choose to not both have a bad day on the same day…with a few exceptions of course. We celebrate the children He has blessed us with, our crazy dog, and that we have never gone a day without our needs being met. We may not have everything we want but we’ve always had more than we truly need. We are blessed and I’m so thankful we continue to do life together.