Don’t Sweat It When People Unfollow You

None of us are exempt from losing followers on social media. It just comes with the territory.

But, have you ever been surprised by some of the people who have chosen to unfollow or unlike you on your platforms? I recently ran into this. I was looking at my Instagram analytics and checking out who had recently unfollowed me. And I have to admit, I was a bit taken back by some of the unfollows. Why? These were people that I had connected with, communicated with and even people within my industry.

And even though this took me by surprise, this isn’t the first time this has happened. I learned long ago that I can’t take to heart when people choose to unfollow me because my worth isn’t based on who does or doesn’t follow me. And I’ve learned that I can’t be all things to all people. Some people will like what I have to share and some will not, and that’s perfectly ok.

When people unfollow us online, we tend to believe that it’s something we did or something we said. And while this may be true in some instances, I have found more often that it’s not. Just because someone unfollows us, doesn’t mean that we did anything wrong. And it doesn’t mean that the person who unfollowed us doesn’t like us anymore. Instead, it’s something that the other person is working out on their end, in their life.

For example, at one point in my life I had to stop following an influencer on social media because of the hurt that I had experienced from this person. My heart needed to heal and as long as I kept checking out their social media platforms, the more bitter, unforgiving, and angry I became. So for my own well-being, I had to stop following them.

And guess what? I’m not alone in this. Like me, others have had to create “healthy rhythms” when it comes to their social media platforms: 

“There are just some moments in my life that I feel overwhelmed or smothered by too much information. If I look back, those have been the times that I’ve stopped following people or hid a persons posts. It’s usually not anything about that person, it’s just in some moments, too much is just too much. It’s easier to shut off external information/messages than it is to shut off internal ones.” ~Kelly Donahue Osbaldiston

“Sometimes I have had to unfollow and block people who once were close friends because our relationship has become broken and I can’t allow myself to heal if I’m always tempted to “creep” on them and see how they are doing. It sounds kind of silly, but it’s a simple way for me to put a boundary around my heart for the sake of healing until I am strong enough to not be hurt anymore by that person. I find in those times God really opens my eyes to my own habits when I do that and He begins to heal things that I didn’t even realize needed healing. It doesn’t mean that I don’t like that person, it just means I need a boundary much firmer for a season.” ~Mandy Anderson

“I’ve unfollowed if I feel I start to compare my life or situations with others and if that leads me to a non-Christian like attitude.” ~Joy Bracero

Friend, don’t lose heart when someone unfollows you. In life, we have to create healthy boundaries and social media is not exempt from this.  And remember, if you find yourself comparing, unfollow. If you find yourself using their voice/ideas/copy, unfollow. If you find yourself getting mad by what they post, unfollow. If you find yourself obsessing about what they are doing, unfollow. It’s ok to create healthy rhythms for yourself online. Don’t be afraid to take care of YOU!

Discussion Question: I’d love to hear from you! Click HERE and share how you react when someone unfollows you on social media.

 

Jen Bennett

Dr. Jen Bennett is the Social Media/Communication Specialist and Project Manager at iBloom. Jen’s passion is helping businesses, ministries and individuals, #BeWorthFollowing. Jen enjoys speaking, training, and writing on all things that inspire and help leaders build a digital footprint and personal brand that is different and that helps them stand out and influence people in a crowded and noisy social media world.

Comments

  1. This is one time when being “clueless” must be a benefit:) I have no idea whether someone is or is not following me or why I should care. I find comments interesting and actually toughen me up to realize the thousands of different viewpoints and literal expressions that are in the world. I take a stand in my heart, put on God’s armor, and try to acknowledge the pain, neutrality or joy that I read. And also grow (hopefully). I realize that some people are viciously attacked over and over: to me that says, drop them. It’s like television: some things I can control (like in “turn it off”). Other times, it is completely out of my hands, except how I respond inside and outside my self. You are a precious and priceless daughter of the King: a firm foundation for making decisions.

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