Can we really have it all and do it all?

When I was in college and even seminary, I had dreams. Some pretty big dreams! And honestly, I felt like I could have it all.

You know, things like:

√ A full-time speaking career. I would travel the world speaking about the goodness of God to arenas filled with heart hungry women.

√ I would be married to my rock star husband and we would have three boys.

√ I would live in a BIG house where every room was fully furnished with AMAZING modern furniture.

√ I would be the BEST in my career and people would notice.

√ I would never need extra money, I would just have it.

Honestly, I thought I could have it all. But then, reality soon hit me.

√ My dreams of speaking came to a screeching halt when I was deeply wounded by the church. My dreams of ministry were shattered.

√ Yes, I did marry a rock star husband, but my dream of having three boys was soon shattered. After one Molar pregnancy and a miscarriage, I realized that my little Liam may be the one and only boy that God would give me.

√ While we don’t have a huge house, we have a house that we love!!! And we even have an “empty” room because we really don’t need any furniture in it.

√ Yes, I strive to be the absolute best in my career, but guess what? There will always be other people who are better.

√ Extra money? Guess what? We’ve had our tough seasons. We just recently went through a season of paying off $25,000 worth of debt. Worth it? You bet! Easy? Not always.

Do I have a blessed life? Absolutely! I’m SO grateful for all that God has done and all that He has provided! But I’ve also learned, that the reality is, we can’t have it all and really, I don’t want it all.

I’ve come to learn that in life, there are tradeoffs. There are tradeoffs in everything.

When I decided to resign from my administrator position in education, there was a tradeoff. I would no longer have a stable paycheck coming in. But in return, I would have the freedom to spend more time with my son while pursuing a business that God was calling me to.

When I decided to get the training that I needed to grow my business, there was a tradeoff. I had to cut back on other things. Things like cable and eating out. Even being willing to sell things that I really didn’t need or use.

When I decided to get my Doctorate, there was a tradeoff. My free moments would be spent writing papers and completing assignments instead of doing whatever I wanted to do.

Even as I chat with a friend who is finding herself stressed out after entering the full-time work force again, after being home with her children, she’s realizing that there is a tradeoff. Yes, she is getting a consistent paycheck while also enjoying some benefits that benefit her family, but she is also finding herself asking if it’s worth it or not.

So, why am I sharing all of this with you? Because I want you to know, in life there is always a tradeoff. We can’t have and do it all. We will have to choose and pick what we want to focus on in each season of our life.

And with that, we have to know what our priorities are right now for our lives! There is no “perfect” day waiting for you. If God has called you to build a business now, then what are you willing to tradeoff? Are you willing to REALLY trust Him with all that you need and all that you need to learn? Are you willing to REALLY trust Him by putting your faith to action? Are you willing to get rid of those “things” that are not really needed  (cable, manicures/pedicures, etc.) so that you can get the coaching you need, the training you need, the business “musts” that you need?

What in life are you willing to tradeoff so that you can truly live the life you were meant to live? What in life are you willing to tradeoff so that you can life into the priorities that you have for your life?


Jen Bennett

Dr. Jen Bennett is the Social Media/Communication Specialist and Project Manager at iBloom. Jen’s passion is helping businesses, ministries and individuals, #BeWorthFollowing. Jen enjoys speaking, training, and writing on all things that inspire and help leaders build a digital footprint and personal brand that is different and that helps them stand out and influence people in a crowded and noisy social media world.


  1. This is a great article very encouraging. Thank you!

  2. Thank you for your transparency. God bless you!

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