Part of your responsibility as a parent or educator is to bring out your child’s personality strengths. We all come prepackaged at birth with eye color, hair color, intelligence, body type and personality!
Each personality is important and has strengths as well as weaknesses. Many parents and educators try to improve a child’s behavior by focusing on their weaknesses: “Don’t do that.” “You did this wrong.” “Don’t talk so much.” “Quit being so negative.” “ You should be more….” I recommend shifting focus and help your child (or teen) identify their strengths. They will become their best when they can use their strengths and manage their weaknesses.
I have three outstanding “kids” who are now young adults. They tell me that the greatest thing I taught them, besides to know the Lord, was about Personalities. My daughter often says, “I don’t know how people get by without knowing about the personalities.” My kids say it helped them get along better their friends, teachers and their employers. Knowing the strengths of their personality allowed them to make those strengths work for them while managing the areas that were natural struggles.
Identify your child from the following personality styles. Your child may be a combination of two. Identify what strengths to help your child build and areas of struggle to help them manage. For more thorough information, you can download Zoo Clues: The Personalities of Children and Teens for Parents and Educators. https://ibloom.co/store/zoo-clues/
Strengths: Lots of energy and enthusiasm, creative and colorful, cheerful, appealing personality, curious.
- Chatters; interrupts: Gently guide them to let others talk too.
- Wants to please others: Give them permission to say no to protect themselves.
Strengths: Insightful, sensitive to others, conscientious, sees problems and seeks creative solutions, follows through.
- Can be critical: model how to look for the best in others – overlook faults.
- Might have a low self-image: Help your child accept herself, know her strengths and how to use them.
Strengths: Dynamic, decisive, likes goals and challenges, takes the lead
- They are natural leaders so show them how to lead rather than boss others around.
- Teach them the value of respecting authority.
Strengths: Relaxed, easy going, avoids conflict, kind, needs lots of rest
- Help your Phlegmatic child learn to offer their opinions. Ask them for their opinions and compliment them on their good choices.
- Tends to be indecisive so give your child opportunities to make decisions.
I have a son who is a Powerful Choleric. One time when he was about 14 he was out of sorts and seemed to be missing his normal energy and zest. I asked him if he felt out of control. He said, “Yes…I feel like everyone, teachers and parents, have all the control.” Control is important to Cholerics. I suggested he make some goals – academic, spiritual, family, activity. He brought them to me excitedly, posted them and was suddenly himself again. He discovered how to gain a sense of control again.
Another son is a Proper Melancholy. It bothered him that at McDonald’s they didn’t put the hamburger in the center of the bun. So when he reached the age to look for a job, we told him that a fast food place wouldn’t value putting burgers on the grill in a straight line and he’d have to move real fast. He chose to work at a small local coffee shop instead.
You will find lots of opportunities to bring out your child’s personality strengths. Parents and educators have a big influence on children and teen’s development so identify their personality and help them live into their strengths and manage their weaknesses. Learn more about this topic in Zoo Clues: The Personalities of Children and Teens for Parents and Educators. https://ibloom.co/store/zoo-clues/