A Mom’s Confession

“Did my daughter really just say that?” That’s what ran through my head almost two years ago…

My daughter is a kind, caring and loving child, who is always supportive of me. So when she said, “Mom, you’re not happy anymore. You don’t spend time with us. And your job is more important than we are!” my heart sank. The “us” in this scenario was my daughter and her older brother. At the time, my husband was away at an 18-month training for work, so I was essentially a single mom.

Let me share a little of the back-story. I was working for a company that I absolutely adored – I loved the work itself and the people even more! It started out as a part-time position, but then the hours increased. This was more money, greater feelings of accomplishment and I could work around my kids’ schedules since I worked from home. Worked for me!

As I became a salaried employee, I got caught up in the spiral of doing more and finding ways to make it happen. In the process of working more, I lost myself and allowed my priorities to get out of whack. It took my daughter’s brave conversation to open up my eyes! Kids are blunt and honest and I am SO grateful she was comfortable enough to share her thoughts with me.

I immediately had a meeting with both my kids and my parents. It turns out, while I was away on a recent business trip my kids talked to my Mom about how they felt. I was shocked and blown away that I had allowed this to happen! You see I was the Mom who volunteered on the PTO Board, was the Homeroom Mom and brought in special treats for the students and teachers. Can you say, Super Mom Syndrome?

As I’m typing this, my heart is beating out of my chest! I know a panic attack could easily happen, so you can imagine how I felt back then. After tears were shed and apologies were made to my kiddos, I knew I had to come up with a plan. I realized I had allowed my schedule and actions to get out of line with my priorities. I desperately wanted to get things back on track!

Through prayer and many talks with dear friends, I decided to leave my position. It was an excruciating decision. I loved my work as well as my co-workers and clients, but I knew this was a necessary step to re-evaluate my life and priorities. I have little self control when it comes to serving and blessing others. I tend to take on more and more, which is exactly what happened…I needed space to figure things out.

One of those people I spoke with was iBloom Founder, Kelly Thorne Gore. In one of our chats {after I resigned from my position}, she asked me this simple question, “Dawn, what do you like to do just for you? Not for your kids, your family or your friends but just for YOU?” Do you know that it took over three weeks of prayer, journaling and just being alone to come up with an answer!

I can now answer this question quickly! I like to:

  • Read
  • Hike/walk in nature
  • Sit on my back deck and listen to music
  • Get a pedicure {even though it tickles my tootsies to death!}
  • Get a massage
  • Take a walk and hold hands with my hubby
  • Have long talks with my kids {they enjoy Mommy time more now – they say I am loving and attentive – which is awesome to hear from two high school kids!}
  • And the list can go on!

This all came down to my priorities in this season of life. My kids were a priority in my mind BUT I did not show them through my schedule and actions. In the past, “Me Time” activities would have become another thing on my to-do list, instead of a way to invest in myself.

I now have a support system in place {my family, my iBloom team and close friends} who help guide me and speak lovingly into my life. I have non-negotiable daily prayer time as I seek God’s direction for my life. I also “schedule” time for me, as I know the importance of self-care.

How about you – is it time to do a check-in and evaluate your priorities in this season? Do you have your own list of things you like to do just for YOU? Do you have people who support you and help you stick to your priorities? Share with me below how you intentionally live into your priorities! Let’s do this together!

Dawn Wilkerson

Dawn Wilkerson has a black belt in client care. She helps the iBloom Team and our customers not only get it together but also remember where we put it. From techie to tedious, whatever your crisis, Dawn specializes in the details and she will help you get it fixed (or find the person who can) so that YOU can get back to work.

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