I stuck my foot in my mouth this week.
I’m usually pretty good about keeping my foot out of my mouth but this week was a doozie. My husband was being wonderful and helping my sister get moved into her new place and I managed to insult him & another family member without meaning to… right in front of him, my sister, and my daughter. I didn’t even realize while I was saying it that it would make him upset until I saw his face. Then I knew I had crossed a line.
The old me would have tried to blow it off. Saying things like, “Oh lighten up!” or “You know it is the truth…we can laugh about this.” or even “I don’t know why you’re so upset. I wasn’t trying to offend you.”
But the new me felt convicted and apologized within a few minutes of the offense. I realized that what I had said had hurt his feelings so whatever truth or humor I had seen in it wasn’t worth seeing that hurt look on his face. We had driven separately because he had met me at my sister’s new place after work. So rather than waiting to apologize when we got home, I called him from the car. I apologized, listened while he explained why what I said made him upset, and then I apologized again.
What would have probably been a 2 or 3 day argument 7 years ago was now settled in less than 10 minutes. I chose peace over trying to explain my way out of something I shouldn’t have said in the first place. I had to remind myself to be quick to listen and slow to speak and to ask myself these 3 questions that a mentor challenged me with once. BEFORE I share what runs through my mind, ask myself:
- Is it true?
- Is it kind?
- Is it beneficial?
Before I open my mouth, I need to be sure the answer to all three is YES! When I consider these questions I’m much less likely to end up with my foot in my mouth.
“You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” James 1:19
Happy Marriage Challenge:
- Do you owe your spouse an apology for something you’ve said? If so, go apologize.
- Do you have a habit of gossiping about others? If so, ask God to help you think through these 3 questions before you speak.
- Do you seek peace or drama in your home? Aim to be quick to forgive, to apologize, and to move on with a clean slate as much as possible. You’ll be so much happier for it.
Leigh Ann Napier
The Happy Marriage Planner