3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Speak

I stuck my foot in my mouth this week.

I’m usually pretty good about keeping my foot out of my mouth but this week was a doozie.  My husband was being wonderful and helping my sister get moved into her new place and I managed to insult him & another family member without meaning to… right in front of him, my sister, and my daughter.  I didn’t even realize while I was saying it that it would make him upset until I saw his face.  Then I knew I had crossed a line.

The old me would have tried to blow it off.  Saying things like, “Oh lighten up!” or “You know it is the truth…we can laugh about this.” or even “I don’t know why you’re so upset.  I wasn’t trying to offend you.”

But the new me felt convicted and apologized within a few minutes of the offense.  I realized that what I had said had hurt his feelings so whatever truth or humor I had seen in it wasn’t worth seeing that hurt look on his face.  We had driven separately because he had met me at my sister’s new place after work.   So rather than waiting to apologize when we got home, I called him from the car.  I apologized, listened while he explained why what I said made him upset, and then I apologized again.

What would have probably been a 2 or 3 day argument 7 years ago was now settled in less than 10 minutes.  I chose peace over trying to explain my way out of something I shouldn’t  have said in the first place.  I had to remind myself  to be quick to listen and slow to speak and to ask myself these 3 questions that a mentor challenged me with once.  BEFORE I share what runs through my mind, ask myself:

  1. Is it true?
  2. Is it kind?
  3. Is it beneficial?

Before I open my mouth, I need to be sure the answer to all three is YES!  When I consider these questions I’m much less likely to end up with my foot in my mouth.

“You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”  James 1:19

Happy Marriage Challenge:

  • Do you owe your spouse an apology for something you’ve said?  If so, go apologize.
  • Do you have a habit of gossiping about others?  If so, ask God to help you think through these 3 questions before you speak.
  • Do you seek peace or drama in your home?  Aim to be quick to forgive, to apologize, and to move on with a clean slate as much as possible.  You’ll be so much happier for it.

Blessings,

Leigh Ann Napier

The Happy Marriage Planner

http://leighannnapier.com

Leigh Ann Napier

I’m iBloom’s Content Creator who loves making our clients’ products & services irresistible to the people who need them. My job is to play with words and help clients tell their story in a way that impacts people, cures an ache, and explains clearly what they do. My favorite part of what I do is helping connect products with people! This allows our clients to make the income they need getting them that much closer to making their personal & professional dreams a reality.
About Leigh Ann Napier

I’m iBloom’s Content Creator who loves making our clients’ products & services irresistible to the people who need them. My job is to play with words and help clients tell their story in a way that impacts people, cures an ache, and explains clearly what they do. My favorite part of what I do is helping connect products with people! This allows our clients to make the income they need getting them that much closer to making their personal & professional dreams a reality.

Comments

  1. Ashley Leimer says:

    Such good words to live by! I think everyone, myself included, can use these reminders. Another great blog!

  2. Leigh Ann, what a great reminder that our words have so much power! Thank you for sharing!

  3. So true. Saying sorry and that we are wrong is difficult but so important that we recognize our shortcomings!!!

    • Sarah- Seeing our spouse’s shortcomings is so much easier than seeing our own! Makes it tough but the quicker we see our own, the easier it is to forgive theirs. Thanks for your comment!

  4. So true! I need these questions tatooed to my forehead!

  5. Leigh Ann, I LOVE this entry!

    I think this also applies to talking about people who aren’t present. I really try to imagine that person being in the room with me and think about whether or not they be honored and hurt by my words.

    Wouldn’t it be great if we only spoke words that were kind and uplifting?!

    • Thanks Kelly! That’s a great rule to live by when talking about others when they aren’t around. Our friends and family should be able to trust that we honor them with our words at all times.

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